It was a bright sunny day when it happened. Darin, who was 28, had just purchased a house in Chandler and was hard at work making it a home. He was hauling rock around his new yard when, suddenly, burning pain ran down his right leg. He quickly set down the wheelbarrow, but the pain didn’t go away.
Not that day, not the next, not for the next seven years.
The doctors told him he had lifted too much. He had compressed the disks in his back to the point that he crushed the nerves that led to his right leg.
“I was in a lot of pain, it was horrible. But I’ll never forget when my doctor said to me, ‘Here, just take this stuff.’”
From pill one, Darin knew he was in trouble.
“I took the painkillers that first night and pretty quick, I knew I was in trouble. It was such a good feeling. It wasn’t just the pain, every single problem I had just went away.”
Darin went from doctor to doctor looking for a safer, more permanent solution. But after 20 MRIs, no one could pinpoint exactly where the damage occurred. Until then, surgery wasn’t an option.
“Meanwhile, my tolerance for the painkillers was climbing; I needed more of them to numb the pain. So I went doctor shopping. Back then it was easy to visit different doctors, tell them about my leg and get another prescription. I didn’t think too much about it because I was legitimately in pain, but in the back of my mind in knew I was losing control.”
So did his family. They noticed the uptick in medication and arranged an intervention. They sent Darin to a rehab center where he managed to get clean. But the pain was still there. For the next year and a half, Darin would grit his teeth and bear it without the help of painkillers. Just when he was about to break, he had a breakthrough.
“This doctor took an MRI and said, ‘Yeah, I see it, there’s a little bulge right there that’s crushing the nerves.’ I couldn’t believe it; I finally had proof that I wasn’t insane.”
After seven long years, Darin finally received the surgery he needed to correct his nerve damage. But the problem was, with surgery came more painkillers.
“I was on morphine for the surgery and then OxyContin for the next month while I healed. And I was okay. But right after my back healed, I got into an accident and broke my leg. When that required surgery and more painkillers, it was too much. After four months of continued use I was hooked again.”
This time, things were more complicated. He was married, he had three kids and “doctor shopping” was no longer an option. As his addiction ramped up, so did national awareness of the opioid epidemic. He was quickly “red flagged” and had to turn to the streets for the painkillers he needed.
“When I started on the Fentanyl, my life just spiraled. I quit working. I could hardly be a parent. I was a mess. My wife was getting fed up with it. When she found the pills, she confronted me and I didn’t have an explanation, so she kicked me out. It was over. Fortunately, my brother knew someone who used to work at the Phoenix Rescue Mission. He told me, ‘No more of this. You’re going to a long-term facility with Christ.’”
Darin admits that he wasn’t thrilled.
“I thought I knew what God was about. He was someone who was just waiting to punish me for all the partying and pain that I caused. That and when I first saw this place, it looked like a prison. I told my brother, ‘There’s no way I’m going in there.’ But it was the only way to get better, to fix my relationship with my family, and hopefully with my wife. So I planned on staying for Foundations.” [the first, two-month stage of our recovery program]
But Darin found more than just recovery here; he found a relationship that changed everything.
“When I was in Inner Healing [the second stage of our recovery program], I was discussing God with Richard [one of our recovery counselors] and he told me, ‘you’ve got to look at God like he’s got this wallet and your picture is in there. He’s showing everyone in heaven like, ‘This is my son, I’m proud of him.’
He loves you like you love your kids, but so much more.
When he said that, I don’t know why, but everything clicked. A lightbulb went on and I suddenly knew in my heart that God loves me. It was amazing; I was just bawling.”
Since that day, Darin has focused on building that relationship and sharing it with the men around him. It’s changed him. Today he’s a graduate, he’s sober, and he’s walking with God on a daily basis as a part of our Servant Leadership Training program. And recently, God answered a special prayer Darin has been asking for, ever since his revelation.
“I prayed constantly that God would restore my marriage. It was over. I didn’t know what to do to fix it so I gave it to God. I told Him that, ‘If this is going to work, it’s gotta be You.’ And He did it! We’re back together, it’s going to be a long road, but I see her on weekends and we talk every day. That was all God!”
Thanks to your prayers and support Darin is back on his feet and moving forward.
“Bottom line, God has changed my heart. People say this place is holy ground. When I got here, I thought that was stupid. But no. I can’t explain it, there’s just something about this place – God is here and He’s working.”
